Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
