Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
