you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize