Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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