My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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