Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
