I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
