Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think i got beer on your cat.
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