he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
