i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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