I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
