I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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