she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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