And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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