i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize