His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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