i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
