yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
