I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
