if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
