I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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