I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
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