Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize