But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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