1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
no, he came in my armpit
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
