party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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