apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
how drunk are you?
Several
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
