I can't watch pbs sober anymore
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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