i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize