why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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