Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
