Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Randomize
