I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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