So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
