she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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