He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
