and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
