just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
