I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
