oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
