I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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