haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
