He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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