We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
