u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it's like iHOP with fire
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
