She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
