her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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