Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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