On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize