Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize