can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
