Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
