did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
