she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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