I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
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