im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize