But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
