is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
