So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
