I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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