So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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