maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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