rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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