office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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