If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
