u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
