who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
