Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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