I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
