So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
