It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
